Tuesday, May 29, 2012
"What Will I Do With This Room?"
A week or so ago I was digging through the photo box again, and found a picture my daughter had taken of me a couple months after my husband's suicide. I hadn't seen this photo since it was taken, and forgot there was one representative of that period of my life. We were in the midst of re-sorting Neil's office, reorganizing stuff, and trying feebly to do the same on an interior level, as well. I had lost a great deal of weight (for me) and I saw for the first time, in that photo, how lost and shattered that little 92 lb. widow was.
It was a comforting gesture of closure for me to sketch her, lovingly, from nine and a half years later. Where I would not only be 20 lbs. heavier, but light years happier. I followed artistic impulse, and thought it interesting I'd left the hands off of Neil's Regulator clock, the clothes in the closet were Neil's, a jumble of unorganized bills in a box (maybe representing the debts he left behind?), and I had drawn both the clock's pendulum and the wedding ring in metallic gold ink.